Personally, I don't believe in having sex with a wayward spouse as long as they are wayward, and CERTAINLY not before they get a full-panel STD screen, and show their betrayed spouse the results.
I also think it's important not to rescue them from the consequences of their infidelity, while at the same time showing compassion and not being a jerk or holier-than-thou about it.
I think you should tenderly hold your wife, tell her "I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable with that right now. We're still a LOOOONG way from that, but I do still care for you, and I hate to see you hurting like this." Give her a kiss on the cheek or forehead, or on the mouth (close-mouthed) and break the embrace yourself.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I did sleep with my wife before I had my assurances, despite being warned not to, and I really, REALLY regretted it.
That's my personal opinion. I believe MWD is in favor of the betrayed spouse continuing to have sex with their wayward spouse, to maintain the connection. I think it messes with BOTH spouses heads, big-time. But if you do, I would certainly, ABSOLUTELY recommend that she be tested first, and for you to see the results. There are two active "STD" threads going on the boards even now, and the horror stories are just too many to ignore.
