It takes awhile with regard to forgiveness. At first you are in shock, then you want to take matters into your own hands, then you get angry, and so on. I started off like that and I did other things as well but went to my pastors and they asked me which direction i wanted to go and helped me along the way.
Forgiving, patience, loving unconditionally all take time--lots of it and does not happen overnight.
Hi, MWG, Thanks for posting to me! I was apparently in the middle of my long rant when you posted.
You are dead on about the stages--that is exactly what happened to me. I am apparently now stuck in the anger phase, and have been for about eight months. I have been meaning to go talk to my pastor about forgiveness (I saw him twice very early on after the bomb, and was still in shock at that point). I think maybe it is time to set up an appointment with him, especially since I have had to discontinue my IC for the rest of this year because of the limitations on my insurance coverage.
I seem to have the patience down pretty well, but I am not getting the hang of the forgiveness, that's for sure. I think that goes hand-in-hand with the unconditional love...although I still love H, but it is the VERB "love," not the noun (the feeling)--it is through an act of will rather than my feelings. Those feelings of love are in storage for now.
Thank you for saying that it takes lots of time...I have been feeling a little deficient for not being able to sweepingly forgive, even after a year. I will keep working on it, looking for different things that may help.
Thanks, MWG, you have so much wisdom and I greatly value your advice.
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
