I don't blame you for hanging up on the OM.
I would do the same.
It stinks being alone. you need to create something new.
For a long time I felt like I was "faking it". I was filling up my day with "2nd choices". if you know what I mean. I preferred to be with my family, but I was being forced to pick the 2nd choice.

But it is what it is. there is no fighting it.

we have to make the best of it.