Ok I understand what you are saying and I am all over the place.

It seems the minute i feel like i am making progress , I second guess if i want it. When he is playing hard ball I chase.

What the $%^& do I want.

I WANT NONE OF THIS TO OF EVER HAPPENED.

I want my family in tact. I want to love my h with everything i have. I want to be content with my lot. I want to be happy.

Can I have that now - I JUST DONT KNOW.

I am over analysing everything he syas and does. I take things as personal attacks.

I am confused.

Somedays and I will say they are more frequent i feel good and strong. Then something happens and i slide back into despair.

But I dont cry anymore, I listen to music again and I dance when no one i looking. So i have good days .

Bear with me.

How do I know that i would not do it again. I can vow and declare to you that I would never put another soul through this but i am scared.

SPM i missed your advise over weekend , it was a tough one for me. Lucky there are some good people on this site with some strong sound advice.

Great to hear you had good weekend with kids. Priceless.


Last edited by max030; 10/13/08 03:43 AM.