downhill from here

[marriedCrazy]

Ok.
2005 - caught with text. OM friend husband

Next 3 years I deny PA and . H moves in and out of house in frustration. He believs it PA . I let him come and go. For a while I did not care . even when he got a flat and it all looked serious , i felt that he still Loved me. I used that to give me the strength to keep lying etc.

2008 H had enough and exploded. I knew that I had to tell him the truth for amny reasons and one of them being a sense of this could be it. So I came clean.

2008 H moved back in and then hids dad died and then he moved out.

I have been devasted and why - because I SENSE this is it. He is not play acting anymore. He means it. He is very hurt even though I only confirmed what he already knew.

Sooo it is a sense of when the spouse really has had enough. I had not changed one little thing about myself until this point. I needed to really see and really feel the hurt and destruction and yes hate.

I dont know how you will do this if you dont feel it. I dont believe oit is something that can be play acted. Maybe it is a case of GAL and then you will GAL and she will sense it. Then like me she will have to hope and pray that there is a small window of oppotunity to get it all back.

It probably is not something you want to hear.

Things H did this year - he seemed happy to do things on his own, he bought clothes on his own ( normally he wants my opinion), he attended a family function without me. He is planning holiday without me. He took up a new hobby that mixes him with people i dont know and leads into lots of fun things.

Little things but they all add up to him GAL. I hate it

After reading this, he might be slipping into his own MLC.

[badcompany]

who me ? or max's husband ?

[badcompany]

Puppy,

need your advice on something. stop by when you get this.

thanks,

BC

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Wazzzup????

[badcompany]

my wife isn't over OM (obviously) but tried to be intimate with me. We both know her head is messed up. She is making every effort to spend time with me and do family oriented things. I know I can't make her get over him, but he's being a huge jack@$$ about the pregnancy. I also know not to rescue her, but I feel like I shouldn't sit back either. What would you do ? Her emotional stability is suffering from how mean he is being. He needs to grow up ASAP.


Thanks

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Personally, I don't believe in having sex with a wayward spouse as long as they are wayward, and CERTAINLY not before they get a full-panel STD screen, and show their betrayed spouse the results.

I also think it's important not to rescue them from the consequences of their infidelity, while at the same time showing compassion and not being a jerk or holier-than-thou about it.

I think you should tenderly hold your wife, tell her "I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable with that right now. We're still a LOOOONG way from that, but I do still care for you, and I hate to see you hurting like this." Give her a kiss on the cheek or forehead, or on the mouth (close-mouthed) and break the embrace yourself.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I did sleep with my wife before I had my assurances, despite being warned not to, and I really, REALLY regretted it.

That's my personal opinion. I believe MWD is in favor of the betrayed spouse continuing to have sex with their wayward spouse, to maintain the connection. I think it messes with BOTH spouses heads, big-time. But if you do, I would certainly, ABSOLUTELY recommend that she be tested first, and for you to see the results. There are two active "STD" threads going on the boards even now, and the horror stories are just too many to ignore.

Puppy

[badcompany]

puppy should I still be putting distance between us ? I don't turn any plans that include or regard our son, nor do I tell my wife where or with whom I go out but if she wants to spend time with me, should I oblige? I do not want to rush things and I'm nowhere near as attached. I also understand she needs to be alone and deal with the consequences of her actions. I'm sort of torn

[Puppy Dog Tails]

No, I would not. I would go "dim" (not dark).

She needs to miss you, and feel for much longer than she has already, the consequences of her actions, in my opinion.

[badcompany]

So I just continue to tell her I already have plans ? I'm busy ? Do I say anything else ? My only concern is that she won't miss me

[badcompany]

I finally got a formal apology face to face. She told me she should have worked harder to save things and she was selfish, and if I don't trust her she understands. Also she said if I don't want to see her, she understands and it will be another hard lesson learned