Lissie - I hope all is well. I am guilty of not keeping up with you, but you are so popular ....
GFI - how are you?
No Bill, you will never come off as "self-righteous or cliche".
I post about drinking to remind myself that it is a problem that can consume me if I let it. No excuses - right now it fills a need but everything has a price and the price booze asks of me is not what I am willing to pay in the long haul. And I value those who have 'been there, done that, bad mojo...'
I am still stuck in a bit of depression but I am feeling better.
I just got back from vacationing with the kids - fall school break. We had a great time. Went to usual places and some new ones and we had a blast. D7 had her first pony ride - priceless.
But we also ran into several families the kids knew from school. We only went two hours from where we live, so with the price of gas others planned like we did. It was tough for me to do the introductions when I met them - they were whole families and we were not. I cannot help but think what they were thinking - where was 'mommy'?
It sucks. I would give up anything to be on vacation as a whole family. Table after table at the hotel dining spot had the 'whole familes' interacting and planning their day.
Not me.
No. I don't miss HER. I miss the concept of family, not her.
Maybe not so much. But in some ways I do miss her.
I know this is not true b/c of the people I know and respect here - but I cannot shake the thought that the 'L' in LBS means *Loser*.
But I am trying to be upbeat. Did a few things on my house so I am celebrating some progress. But overall I am still stuck.
This too shall pass.
I am trying to be better at work. Had a few low points but I need the job. Since the beginning of the year my retirement savings were cut by 50% due to my divorce and now they are down another 20% due to the stock market. Not much left.
But I need not worry - the newspaper had an interview with some 20-something who makes seven-figures explain to me that in "15 to 20 years" I will be okay. That SOB who makes his salary if he makes me money or loses it ....
I don't have 20-years.
But I will survive.
All for now. I see light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a train.
But so much work. But without work, and effort, and crafting a new future, what would we be?
