Are we piecing yet?

[kiwi000]

Jounaling;

I went for a long run this morning and had a good think. It seems to me that I had lost sight of my DBing goals and strategies because a) they were starting to work and I got over-confident and b) because I am pretty upset by the situation with my Father's illness.

WAW is angry with me again and communication is nearly stopped. Rather than dwell on that, I am going back to the DBing strategies that worked (GAL, Act as if) and I will focus on my father's last few days/weeks. I can at least support him, my mother and my siblings as they have been there for me during W walking away.

Before I went for a run, a friend said to me that if I still hurt, then I was not healed and if I was not healed, I had not truly forgiven. Forgiveness, he said, is the only way the M can be saved and it doesn't need WAW to be asking for it.

He felt that I had not fully forgiven because I was waiting for WAW to ask for forgiveness- something that relates to pride.

Good logic in that and something that made me think while I ran my sorrows away.

If I've not forgiven, then my heart isn't fully open to the opportunity in my M. If that's the case, then I still have DBing to do. I wouldn't go back to someone I thought hadn't forgiven me.