Thanks from the bottom of my heart for what you both wrote. It does feel like hands reaching down to help me up, right when I least expected it.
I feel better having gotten that off my chest, on this forum, where I had felt too ashamed to be at lately. Which has been hard, because this place and the people here have helped me so much over the past months. I still feel like I'm in a quiet time and that I don't really deserve to post & give advice right now, but I am wishing everyone here well and keeping up quietly.
Love, Iamlost
Yes, you do deserve to post and give advice. If I can say that to you, I guess I can also say that to me. I finally confessed about my OM to a close friend, and I said I guess you think I'm a terrible person now, and she said, no, you're just a person. As in, everyone makes mistakes, even bad ones. If anything I think she felt like, wow, so you really are human and don't have it all together (I give that impression to many people and so does H...leaving us isolated when things are f###ed up).
I think facing our weakness is the only thing that helps us recover. Beating the crap out of yourself doesn't. I see you gaining some good insight to yourself anyway, about how vulnerable you are, and what you should do to protect yourself (stay away from the guy friends for now).
Don't let "shame" make you even more vulnerable...
