Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[Hope4us]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the comments.

H4H, We're leaving for a week at Disney next Saturday. Just us and another couple. We're meeting the other couple there but won't be with them for a few days when we first get there. So it's all good. A few days, just W and I and then 4 more days with REAL FRIENDS of ours. Friends of our marriage. One set of friends W is upset knows about her affair although W is the one that told the W of the couple about her affair, ironically last year at this time while we were at Disney with them. At that time the W of the couple told my W what she was doing was wrong, she didn't really know the POS, he'd probably done it before and in a marriage if you're not happy, you try to work it out and try to work it out and then if it doesn't work, you divorce and THEN start dating. My W walked away from her and their friendship has been strained since. So for my W to be excited about going and spending time, just us and then with our friends is a good sign. We're already planning at least two trips to the dueling piano's bar where we "almost" connected in August, so it'll be interesting to see if we get there this time. But unlike last trip, I'm keeping my expectations low. If it happens, great, but if it doesn't, it's just another step in the rollercoaster process.

Puppy, What are W's LL's? I haven't read the book but from what I gather from what others have posted here, her main LL is the one where everyone tells her she's beautiful and important. The second one, and it's a close second, is the one where she gets to spend all the money she wants and people buy her nice stuff. So what's that? Words of affirmation and receiving gifts? So I just might take your suggestion and get the purse before Christmas. Would before our trip be too soon? One other thing I'm going to do is have flowers delivered to our room so when we get there the flowers are already in the room. On the card I'm going to say "Looking forward to a fun week. Welcome Home". The Welcome Home thing is related to our owning Timeshares at Disney. When you check in and at other times during the week the Cast Members at Disney will say "welcome home" to us. Being Disney Vacation Club members (that's what they call their timeshare members) it's identified on your Disney ID card so everytime you give it to a cast member they know and it is really cool when they tell you "welcome home". Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it might be time to do a little pursuing. No R talks and I'm not going to say ILY or push for intimacy, but I think she would respond to some "pursuit". Any comments on that given her LL's? I'm also going to start slipping in comments on how she looks, which is GREAT by the way.

Today has picked up right where yesterday left off. W was browsing the Disney discussion boards, the tropical weather forecasts (after our Aug trip we're kind of paranoid) and the entertainment schedule for the time we're at Disney and I asked her some questions and she was just going to look for that info and playfully "yelled" at me to "hang on, I'm going as fast as I can" and we both laughed quite a bit at that.

We then went grocery shopping together. I've found that going grocery shopping together seems to be a bonding experience. I used to do all the grocery shopping and I never realized it, but I think it bothered her. About 6 years ago I had a job where I worked 12 hour shifts, rotating days and nights so I just started doing the grocery shopping as well as the household chores because I was off work a few days during the work week and I just did them so she wouldn't have to. But I realize now that it really bothered her. It's like she didn't have ANYTHING to do to contribute to the household. I also think she probably felt like I didn't think she could do those things or she did them wrong so it bothered her. So for the last 4 months or so we've been grocery shopping together. We take our time, plan meals, laugh, there's some touching and she walks very close to me. Not holding my arm or anything, but she's WITH me. And it feels good. I've also cut way back on doing household chores. Now don't kill me women out there. I still do my share around the house, but the days of me doing 90% of it are over. And I think it makes her feel important. Like she's contributing.

When we finished putting the groceries away, I went out and mowed and trimmed the lawn. I came in and she's looking at the Disney discussion boards again, telling me about threads she's read etc. She's doing laundry, getting S16 set to go to a concert tonight. Yeah, parents of the year here. He won't get home til probably midnight on a school night, but WTF? You're only young once.

Talk to everyone later.