FLCT: We are all partially responsible for what went wrong. I think I didn't value my ex enough. The points that you and wii make are also important.
I see myself somewhat in your wife's shoes. I handled EVERYTHING to do with daily life with the kids - hospitals, appointments etc despite the fact I was NOT a stay at home mom but ran a fulltime business. He came home and often vegged in front of the tv. He would have been happy to have me bring his dinner tot he couch so he could stay there. But he did eat with us at my insistence.
My point? Yes, there is one. If someone is unhappy in their M and feels they are shouldering the burden and all the reponsibility (my C pointed out to H and I that this was me) - they need to speak up. If one person feels they are neglected and the other spends too much time with the kids or work or other (my H felt this way) - they also need to speak up.
We all have disappointment and disillusionment in our Ms at times. Some moreso than others. But if you don't communicate it and you don't do something about it - then you can't expect to have it fixed. And yes - no one is a mindreader despite the fact we want the other person to be.
OK, having said all that, it does not give the person the right to cheat. To lie. To not try to fix things.
I was disillusioned in my M but would NEVER have left or cheated. I tried to make things better. H was obviously disillusioned in our M too but never told me
