I know that most recently MWG your h was home. That must have been nice sleeping with him again. I forgot what that was like, it's been almost 2 years since he came back and left again 2 weeks later.
I think that is what I miss the most.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
M, You've had a busy week. How are you doing today?
I'm glad to see that your h took the girls shopping, but it sounds like he's having a very difficult time adjusting to sitting around and doing nothing. The blood pressure reading isn't good. He needs to see a doctor about it and we all know he needs to make the decision to go.
The next time he leaves and you think he's not doing well, why not suggest he stay? You could offer up the couch for him to bunk on if that would make him feel safe. I know that you don't want to do this, but you've got to test the waters a bit and I'm concerned about his driving when he's not feeling well.
I hope that you have the day off and can get off your feet for a bit. Maybe the girls can help you out w/some of the chores?
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for checking on me. I am okay today but very tired.
Not recently but I have said to H to stay and he always says, "I can't," and even when he is ready to leave, he kisses me for like 15 minutes and hugs me really tight! This practice began with a few kisses and has progressed to at least 10-15 minutes, he sighs and says he better go. Then after I go inside, he calls ow for one minute, and he even calls her when he leaves to come to our house. I know this because I pay the phone bill and see it. I do not question it though.
H is coming over today and also a few times this week.
I think you are right about testing the waters. And not only that, it would help me out a lot if he were home but I realize it is when he is ready.
It is as if there is this real pull for him to go back there every time.
For what, I do not know.
He has been texting me right before he goes to sleep (between 1-2AM) saying goodnight/i love you...........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I just sent a text to H and I said. "good morning, I am praying for you and please know that the door is always open for you to come home. The kids and I love and miss you very much."
I know he gets choked up when I say stuff like this but I haven't said it for awhile.
Alright, now the ball is in his court again.
My fantasy is for me to go over there and remove his clothes, turn in his key and get him out of there. He wanted me to do that back in February but I never did it.
God is certainly sending him many messages and whether he knows it or not is anyone's guess but I think deep down he knows.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi MWG, I can't believe your h wanted you to do this
Quote:
My fantasy is for me to go over there and remove his clothes, turn in his key and get him out of there. He wanted me to do that back in February but I never did it.
knowing how long you have been waiting for this why did you refuse?
Did you actually do everything for him when he was at home or was he capable of running his own life back then. Just wondered if he has always been unable to sort his life out. From what you post he seems to always know his own mind and have opinions like when you mention AD's or biblical things and yet you say OW means nothing so its really hard to understand why he doesn't just leave. I hope you get a positive response to the text. I couldn't cope with the texts and hugs and kisses knowing he was yet again going back to sleep elsewhere when he has a perfectly good bed he could sleep in with you. Couldn,t you "lace" his drink so he falls asleep and wakes up still home----only joking-I think
It was him who chickened out the next day after asking me to help him move out BUT he did move out himself a few weeks after that, was home for about five weeks, then moved out again. He has been gone for six months now.
No, I never ran his life for him at all. He makes his own decisions, and no, I was never the type to tell him what to do, or ask him to do things for me like fill up my gas tank, do this, do that.
This is not about ow at all. It is a place to escape from reality because he is hitting bottom. Lace his drink? No, that would be manipulating and controlling a situation I have no control over. I really have to leave it to God. It is all in His perfect timing.
He has had extensive study while in seminary with regard to mental illness and AD's. That is why he is so opposed to being drugged.
Last edited by MidwesternGirl; 10/12/0805:29 PM.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi MWG, I was really only jokin about the laceing his drink! I think/ know that drugs and treatment for depression has moved on and is probably light years away from what your H learnt about them. I have a family member in the profession and I know he continually studies and takes exams just to keep up and he is working in the industry and is an extremely clever person. I know that there is nothing you can do to persuade your H to see a Dr maybe when he is rushed in with something related to his high blood pressure he may be glad to have medical help. I hope that doesn't happen but extremely high BP gives little warning when it strikes, a stroke being a major possibility. Does he have a home kit that he uses or you could monitor. I guess you just continue with the prayers. I hope this isn't too gloomy but its very close to my heart having several close friends struck down with strokes simply because of stress and a refusal to take their BP seriously. Now they are trapped in useless bodies and it breaks my heart to see them in such a state.I continually urge all my friends to get checks. Hoping your feet feel better after a few days off work. We have had the most beautiful autumnal weather this week end-we so need that after virtually no summer. Guess it was nice for you to have a weekend without the freind of your sons about. Hoping you manage to get some sleep now he's gone.
H came over today and we spent time outside and some inside watching tv. Let me tell you, it is cold here and to be in the mid 40's here tonight. Hard to believe that this time of year it is to be that cold.
We seem to be drawing much closer and bonding really well. When he left again, same thing--kissing me for 15 minutes and then the look on his face like it pains him to go.
My son--thank goodness his friend is gone. My son has been so much better behaved. We have had some really good conversations over the last few days.
I am thankful for that.
Tomorrow is back to work. It will be a little hard to get back into the groove of things after being off for two days.
H will be coming over during the week so I will get to see him before next weekend.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I'm glad things seem to be looking up a bit for you!! I hope your H does go to the doctor for the BP, that is nothing to mess around with. A lot of it could be depression & hopefully the doctor would see that.
I'm glad things are more calm around there since the kid is gone.
I can't believe you can't call it Columbus Day! What in the world is this country coming too! We have to pray even harder for our country!!
