Ali, Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words! That is so sweet of you! Even with the ADs, I still get down sometimes, although in my last post I was trying to recover from being off ADs for a few days, which is significant and definitely has a detrimental effect on my moods. I am doing better now that my medication levels are back in balance. It also helps for you to point out how hard it is to make progress in the R when there is an EA/PA going on. Yeah, I feel kind of stuck in that regard. Although, oddly enough, in the last couple of days I have been getting a tiny bit more interest in my life from H. Not letting it change what I do or think, just an observation.
I had another insight into my sitch tonight, but now I've forgotten it! I'm not feeling entirely well--have a headache, among other things--which may be affecting my ability to think straight. Oh wait, I just remembered! It occurred to me (in one of those blinding flashes of insight) that it can't possibly be just money that is preventing H from moving out. Why? Because he is still sleeping in the same bed with me, even though there are several other places in the house he could sleep if he wanted to. If he were really so gung-ho to get away from me, he would at least move out of the bedroom, I think--and that isn't a money issue! Okay, I feel better now!
I have been trying to catch up on my work, which has been surprisingly heavy--usually things slow down at this time of year, but I'm not complaining; I can use the money! I'm a self-employed freelance artist, so if I don't work, I don't get paid, and I'm doing better financially this year than I have for about seven years! And the wedding magazine really liked my work, AND they are going to pay me for it, so that's very good!
I have also been trying, with no success, to get my sleep schedule under better control. Sigh.
I have discontinued working with my IC for the rest of the year because my insurance benefits for that have run out, and it will be more expensive than I want to deal with. I have been thinking about switching therapists anyway, as I like this one as a person but I don't think she is helping me much. Can anyone advise how to find a SBT therapist?
Okay, trying to improve on the bedtime, so going to bed now (it's only 3 a.m., instead of my usual 6 a.m.).
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Even with the ADs, I still get down sometimes, although in my last post I was trying to recover from being off ADs for a few days, which is significant and definitely has a detrimental effect on my moods. I am doing better now that my medication levels are back in balance. It also helps for you to point out how hard it is to make progress in the R when there is an EA/PA going on. Yeah, I feel kind of stuck in that regard. Although, oddly enough, in the last couple of days I have been getting a tiny bit more interest in my life from H. Not letting it change what I do or think, just an observation. 
I'm not feeling entirely well--have a headache, among other things--which may be affecting my ability to think straight. Oh wait, I just remembered! It occurred to me (in one of those blinding flashes of insight) that it can't possibly be just money that is preventing H from moving out. Why? Because he is still sleeping in the same bed with me, even though there are several other places in the house he could sleep if he wanted to. If he were really so gung-ho to get away from me, he would at least move out of the bedroom, I think--and that isn't a money issue! Okay, I feel better now!
