my story

[123snap]

after I posted the above the kids called H before we left for the party, he talked to both of them then I heard my son ask if he wanted to talk to mom, didn't hear the answer, but heard okay good bye and my son hung up. that hurt so much for some reason, I guess I feel like i have urged him on and praised him for his accomplishment and he doesn't even feel the need to talk to me about it, i supported him in his efforts and i feel like i mean so little to him.... i know I am assuming stuff here and maybe he just didn't have anything to say, but why did something so insignificant hurt so much, had a cry to my mom, she helped reminded me I am strong and can get through this, though there are times when i am not so sure, especially when something so small erupts a mountain of emotion, maybe i am as wacked as he says or sees to think, i don't think i am a time bomb, i don't think i am an emotional wreck, i am not a person who buries their emotions and i communicate what is on my mind, i am not perfect and can work on my skills and i am but i can't believe i am such a nightmare to live with.

need to let it go and go to bed