"To me, I think I was oblivous to a lot of things that made her angry. I never gave a though to "the kids should go to the dentist", maybe we should re-finance the mortgage, gee, the car needs to be replaced.
Not that I didn't care, but these things never seemed to be on my radar scope. They STILL aren't to a large degree. Not cuz I don't care, but I'm plotting my next workday, the next hockey game, the next call to my daughter. A lot of pucks get by me in life. She felt so put upon. Maybe rightly so, I don't know.
She felt if she didn't do a lot of stuff, it wouldn't get done. Not that I wouldn't do it if asked. She freely admits that. I guess it's like "Gee, the cure for cancer shoud be so obvious", but stuff really gets by me. If I'm reminded of it, I do it, but not recognizing it in the first place ripped her. I don't know how to get color on a black and white TV, so I would NEVER probably see the things she wanted me to."
I think your W probably felt that she was the lone adult in the house, the only responsible one. While she was handling all the day to day tasks she saw you as being out playing soldier or indulging in whatever other interests you had. She began to resent the hell out of you for it. Women don't like to hear "I would have if you'd asked me", they like to feel that you KNOW what needs to be done and are there to do it without being asked. I can remember my W used to say "Goodnight, I'm going upstairs now" and I was supposed to KNOW that she wanted to get laid! I'd say "I'll be up shortly", having no idea what she wanted, and continue watching the ballgame or whatever else I was doing. She would lie in bed fuming because I wasn't up there boffing her brains out. When I said "why didn't you tell me" she said "I did, when I said I'm going to bed now " My point is, saying "I would have if..." just don't cut it! Women don't want to have to ask, right or wrong as that is.
