One Last Pull for this Knot to Break

[TRUSTING]

She is improving. The setting you up with the hot chick at work is her way of relieving guilt. Deep deep deep down she knows she has done wrong. Now if you would just do something "naughty" it would take some of the blame off of her. It does not matter if you are divorced or not. They don't think clear anyway. How can we expect them to be rational for any length of time.

[forward]

Sleeper, Glad you are working out. I have started to do the same. It helps with the stress.

[sleeper]

Trusting,

She tried to set me up about about 6 months ago. I didn't bite. She wanted me to stop by Sat to see this person. I didn't.

I'm not sure if it's to relieve guilt or a self-test to see how she will react. She has commented more than once that she doesn't know what her own reaction will be when I do start dating. I know what her reaction will be. Once she beat on me when she (MISTAKENLY) believed I had gone on a date.

Breton,

Yes it helps tremendously with the stress and whatever else is ailing you. Downside is that if you get hurt and can't continue you experience depression from the endorphin drop, not to mention gaining weight back, your clothes not fitting, etc. I'm climbing out of that hole now.

Lots of contact today. Began with her calling this AM to thank me for needed kidstuff I took to her last night. Ended with me taking kids back to her this evening after kid's activities. She asked me to stay and help get kids bathed and to bed. I did, then left as quickly as possible.

She seems all grateful one minute and irritated the next.

Whatever.

[sleeper]

X called today. She was informed by the accountant that because I filed my tax return separately the past year she has NO deductions and must pay a pretty sum. Taxes are deducted automatically by my employer but X is self employed and no taxes are withheld. My deductions have cushioned the blow so to speak at tax time in the past.

A baby step I've been noticing is that she was not screaming, blaming me and accusing me of being "passive agresssive" for what had happened. She was truly scared and a little freaked out. She was making a request instead of demanding and even said the change wouldn't cost me a dime, indicating she would take care of any costs.

The solution was to re-file jointly as there are additional deductions we can take if filing jointly. I called the accountant and agreed. I called X back to tell her it was taken care of. She seemed surprised I had taken care of it so quickly and I commented that I would rather the mother of my children keep the money than the government get it. She was extremely relieved.

One day she will realize upon which side her bread is buttered.

[sleeper]

Today was unusual.

X called last night, asked if I would keep the kids so she could work a half day today. I agreed. I asked that they be ready to go when I arrived, a 180 for me. When I got to her place she wanted to talk while she got ready for work. We talked about some financial entanglements we still have, the economy, kids, and even OM. She commented, "One day he's going to have to grow up." I asked, "OM or our son?" She laughed and said "Definately OM." OM has always been the carefree, "dare devil"(X's words) thrill-seeker type. He has lots of toys with gas powered engines. Maybe that was attractive in the beginning but it's getting a little old?

X asked me to look at something in the house that wasn't working. I fixed it easily, took the kids and left.

At lunchtime X called and asked if we could meet her for lunch (4th time this has happened in the last 3.5 months. On one occasion I declined). I agreed. We had a great time.

At some point she brought up the new girl with whom she has been trying to "fix me up." I haven't brought her up in conversation once since my original comment about her. X told me new girl has broken up with her "not serious" boyfriend, but new girl believes she should wait for a while before she dates again. I agreed that was wise and said no more.

Sometimes I think she is making baby steps.

I also sometimes think X needs me to date someone else to relieve her guilt and to prove that she is the one I really want by choosing her over them (she had severe self-esteem issues).

If that's not the case then she is totally done and really doesn't care if I date.

The ironic thing is she has gotten very jealous when she thinks (mistakenly) I am dating someone.

I'm not ready nor do I have any desire to date anyone.

Except X.

[sleeper]

She just called to thank me again for helping out with the kids today (said she had a really rough week, was ready to meltdown).

Then she asked if I was going to church tomorrow.

[Andabelle]

And?

[sleeper]

So she texted me Sunday AM to see if I was up and wanted to go/meet her and the kids there. She had also invited a couple of friends. I did.

After church she invited me to go to lunch with them, I declined.

She called me after I declined her invitation and we were both driving. She thanked me for taking our kids to this church she has found, said she knows I don't have to do that whe i have them and she really appreciates it. I mentioned I took the kids last week when I had them. She responded she didn't make it but DD told her we went and what the message was about. The message was on the sin of extramaritial sex in the church, doh!

OM wasn't with her Sunday (he usually is). I don't try to figure out what is happening with them any longer although I'll admit I'm curious. It appears I'm a friend now.

Later when she dropped the kids off to me she was wearing the same dress from church that AM. She asked me if the dress made her "look fat." I respopnded, "No, but it sure does make your boobs look big."

She called me one additional time last night and eight times today. Several calls were when my ringer was off and I missed them. I called her twice over the same period of time.

But who's counting?

[TRUSTING]

Fabulous progress

[Andabelle]

All good. What you're doing is working.