Its still a struggle... Yes he is wrong..but if I had been a better wife..he wouldnt have been in this position to stray....
San--I'm new to your thread, but I had to reply to this post. You're blaming the victim here, and that never works to anyone's advantage. I've been there too, beat myself up for not being a better wife. But then I remembered how I felt like I was disappearing, like I didn't matter, that I was exhausted trying to be good enough--but none of that mattered once he started chasing OW. She said "maybe," and two days later our marriage was over. That's not rational behavior, and that's not my fault. Love isn't an emotion--and he's forgotten that. Lust is an emotion, causes all kinds of chemical responses in the brain. Love is commitment, caring, thinking of your partner's needs as much as your own. You don't deserve him committing adultery, and he doesn't deserve your commitment. Please repeat to yourself: "It's not my fault!" Tape it to your bathroom mirror if necessary.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
