Get mad,get strong;wipe your hands..then u STAND!

[Treese]

Hi Everyone....been away from here for a few days....needed to breathe I guess and been extremely busy with the kids...

D16 is recovering well from surgery...almost good as new...she made national honor society at school so we have inductions tomorrow...I'm very proud of her...

S10 has been going to bed at 6. Yikes!! Thought maybe it was a growth spurt but woke with a nasty cough...grrrrr..

H is still H....happy and having "fun" with OW....they seem to be "in love"...although I don't think he even knows what that is...but who am I to say...right?...

Had to come vent a little....My 24th wedding anniversary is coming up on the 20th...what do I do? Do i get him a card? pretend like it's not happening? What? It is also OW birthday...imagine that....makes me sick....still haven't heard about the results of the paternity tests...either they aren't back yet or he's not telling me...I tried to go online to find out but couldn't find anything...just more depressing information...my stomach is in knots....

Last night I worked the football game at school and H kept son...when I left the game I was hungry, didn't want to go alone so I texted H to see where he and S11 were...they were walking around a store at 9:30 at night...so I asked if they would like to go grab something to eat with me and I expected H to say no thanks but he said, "sure"...met them and we ate say a friend of mine..h hugged her...we saw more people of kids that go to the school I work for...H knew one of the dads from a long time ago...when we left I said I was going to a football game the next morning with a friend and leaving early because it was 2 hours away....H said he would bring son back home and stay here with him and D16....

I left at 8 a.m.....and we were driving when I get this text...from H...telling me he was at the house....I just said Ok...and my friend and I were almost there....he texted back and said, "tell her I said hi"....I was shocked, so was she....but I just said that was weird....

We got there and watched the game and headed home and H texted me to ask me if it was okay that son go with a friend somewhere and I said yes....I figured when I got home he would be gone...NOPE.....we pulled in the driveway and he was in his car..getting ready to leave....got out of his car and Hugged my friend...we have been friends since 1st grade...he knows she knows everything that's going on....then looked at her gas cap and it was broke...so HE FIXED IT! WHAT? then I hugged my friend and she left....H said he had some work to do and had to leave but that he would pick us all up at 5:30 tomorrow for the induction...

When he left...yep....I cried...why?....cause it kills me to watch him hug my friends and he can't hug me....it hurts....and I don't understand it....cant I tell him it hurts or is that being clingy....

I have no expectations really I don't but I really miss him...

Thanks for listening....

Treese