I'm back for a little while...just ran my bath water and it's usually a good hour - 1 1/2 before I crawl back out again.
Hedge of thorns - funny - that would be the subject. I have known about the hedge of thorns for over a year now. I prayed it last year and I know that was why my husband came back to the marriage a year ago BUT, and please listen to this because it cost me a hard lesson, I prayed the prayer but I didn't follow up with the rest of it. I didn't forgive. I was still hurt and I kept repeating the anger. My husband drew closer to the OW (still didn't leave the house) and I couldn't figure out why. It has just been in the recent weeks that I have been able to see what happened a year ago. I prayed the hedge of thorns prayer but I didn't follow up with it.
Last night I was talking to God and trying to bargain with him. God has told me that my husband is "ready." I'm not sure what God means by that but I have been told to "get ready." I'm not sure what God means by that either so everyday I have been asking God what I have to do to get ready and one of those things is that I need to pray the hedge of thorns. Everyday. For the rest of our lives. God will bring my husband back to the marriage sooner than God had planned (God does change his mind - he did for Moses, Abraham, and others.). I want my husband back now and I ask God what I needed to do to get it to happen earlier instead of later and God told me to pray the hedge of thorns. Daily!
TOH - it took me a long time to fully understand that prayer and I still have trouble praying it. I don't know exactly why the trouble I'm having. I now invision it when I pray it. My hedge is about 7-8 feet tall and very THICK. I don't even want anyone to be able to see my husband through it. (I guess I should start praying a taller hedge because the OW is taller than my husband.)
So, confimation from God, again, that the hedge of thorns is key in my life. I know now that it will be a prayer that I do not take out of my prayer life. And I will do the steps after it as well.
TOH - back in March on the prayer blog here I asked for help in getting my prayers organized and how other people did it. I got a lot of good answers but it was in June that God helped me put my own system together. It works for me. It's right along with my calendar. It was one of those growing things I had to do with God. BUT I knew that the key to getting through this was going to be prayer. The other thing I was struggling with was whether someone had to pray on their knees. My answer to that wasn't simple. I have always hated praying on my knees. Even when I was a kid and we had family alter on Sunday nights...I hated it. And then...somewhere within me a voice said...you hate praying on your knees for your husband but you will spend hours on your knees pulling weeds in the garden. Enough said. So since my prayers take about 40 minutes to pray - not including Bible/devotions I now pray the prayers for my husband on my knees and the rest in the tub...which is where I'm headed for now. But - since I have been praying on my knees things between my husband and me have gotten a lot better. OW is still in our lives but she is less and less of a thought in my every day life. I am able to finally put her where she needs to be. She is my husband's problem. I don't have to get rid of her...he does.
