Should I pinch myself?

[NikB]

((CW))

I'm sorry to hear about this.

I know how hard it is but stop relying on your H for ANYthing. I don't quite understand the "guy" perspective on it but I've seen it over and over, so there's clearly something to it. When they're in walkaway mode... they want nothing to do with responsibilities at the house. I remember when we first bought our house H LOVED mowing, he'd talk about how proud he was to be mowing a yard and knowing it was his. The year before he left.. he pi$$ed and moaned about it nonstop and often got other people to do it for him. Then complained about whatever he had to do as the "labor trade" (i.e. he's a mechanic and would change someone's oil in trade for a mow... and he'd bitch about the oil change).

Now that my H is home and actually WANTING to be here he does talk about having a lot to do and too many things to repair/work on - but it's not in a complaining kinda way, just in a "wow lots to get don e today" kinda way.

I remember reading a story where an H had come home but the W was still pretty unsettled - and he helped her plant a tree in the backyard. The W's brother and father both said (based on that action) "He's not going anywhere." It must be that guy thing of speaking through actions?

I'm sorry about the scary smoke alarm experience! I had that happen to a friend of mine once too, she never did figure out what caused it. Did you figure yours out?

And yes, can you believe how it went from all nice and warm to so freaking cold here??? Brrr!!

I'm glad you stood up for yourself when H kept hounding on you about the convo. It might be worth asking about in C next week? See if you can get to the root of WHY he had such a strong reaction? If it is just in fact the not wanting to be responsible for anything he's walked away from that's pretty straight forward - no more favors (from EITHER side). Clearly (and understandably) it makes you resentful to do favors for him when he won't in return, so I wouldn't go out of your way for him, either. Just decline much more nicely than he did.

Hey I keep forgetting to ask - are you in the "alternate universe" (FB) online? Wanted to send you something if so.

Hope you're having a better Saturday. The wind is driving me crazy!