Cinders, your H will never be half the man he was with you....when i read your threads and the thoughts you bring up from others along with the circle of friends you so richly deserve it is ever so apparent to me...you bring out the best in those who fall into your circle of light. he was the best he could be with you.....
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Thank you Anew2moro ! (((((((hugs)))))) to you by the way !
My S5 has been missing his daddy for a few days and yesterday it was so bad, that I told him to call his dad and ask him if he could sleep over there....
H picked S5 up last night at 7pm. Is taking him to the office today and to do other stuff and 'manly' stuff...hopefully that will be good for S5. This afternoon H picks up the kids from school as usual (well S5 isn't going today, but the girls are..) And then they are off to his house for the night. (as usual) I will be going to my tennislesson, as I'm feeling much better. I look forward to doing some sport !
Sun is shining. I feel positive again. Thank God that I always get back to feeling that way !
Lots of love to you all...and thank you for being there when I needed you all so much ! xxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
needed to talk...cant let go of you as his confidante...huh???
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Patti, I'm guessing the same.....yet it is not enough for him to want to come back...I've tried this friendship with him before, but it's not an easy road, as after a while he starts pushing ow into the picture....
What to do....
For now, well, nothing I think.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, have you heard that it is darkest before the dawn? No one knows, not anyone, save God, what is really happening with your husband.
A drowning person will fight against his "savior", pushing away what the drowning person needs, until the drowning person gives up. Let's ignore the possibilities of the person drowning or taking the "savior" with him. The latter won't happen, while the former is the foolishness of some.
My point is that your husband may appear to be happy in his situation but may just be trying to display happiness for the appearance to others. If he is happy, he is a fool, and his happiness will not last.
I was listening to a radio broadcast by Dawson McAllister today and he was talking about the difference between infatuation and love. He made many good points. He talked about infatuation as part of chemistry, i.e. the potential for a good match; while love requires time to become realized.
Further, McAllister said that infatuation is in a hurry and wants to change the character of a person saying, "I really love him/her, this person is so pretty/handsome/smart/funny/sexy but there are a few things that bother me which can be changed later.
Love is patient and accepting. They acknowledge the imperfections but say "it may bother me somewhat but this is part of the person I love so it is not something that changes the feeling I have toward that person".
Basically, he is saying, people who are infatuated with someone, quickly tire of the other person when they are together day after day, while people who love each other, truly love each other are patient.
This isn't to say that your husband doesn't love you but that he may confuse infatuation with love. He wants the heady feeling infatuation provides. But it never lasts. Can it develop into love. Yes, if he is mature enough.
The biggest challenge in your relationship isn't whether your husband will wake up some day and realize you are the best for him but that if you don't tire of waiting and he doesn't have a marriage to come back to.
Love you, little sis. Whatever you do, don't let your Hs appearances affect you.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
"The Happy life of H and ow" have asked for the following....
To be able to have the kids Christmas day and the day after that (26th...it's also a Christmas day here !) and he wanted them for New Year's, but I don't want to have to miss my kids that day...and night.
Urgh.
I sent a TM back saying...."if it's ok for you to pick up the kids here at 3pm on Christmas day, then I'm ok with this arrangement for this year...."
Urgh.
The thought of ow wanting my kids and MY family for Christmas really makes me sick.... I feel she is stealing something that is not hers to have.
If she wants a family so bad, why doesn't she go and look for someone who will give it to her !??!!
Urgh.
Oh well, letting go again.
Off for a night with my friends and hopefully some lovely dinner.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
