I still believe in miracles

[istherehope]

OK,

Changed the email again...Trying to make it lighter and shorter, and not call out any direct references to marriage. The 1st paragraph refers to a show he's absolutely obsessed with. Also, I'm pretty sure that H's love language is words of affirmation, in any case they always go over well, hence the multiple affirmations...I added some things to the last paragraph so that I wasn't ONLY mentioning children. If it sounds OK, I'd really like to keep the reference to kids in as I actually think he might be upset that I wasn't into having any previously. I am being genuine now when I say that I'd like to, BTW. I added skydiving because it's something he's always wanted to do, and I hated the idea--used to be afraid of flying. Now that I've been through THIS, I'm not afraid anymore. I REALLY feel compelled to send something like this, as I don't think I can just show up next Thursday with no talk at all before. Like I said before, I'm going to wait until at least Tuesday to see if H brings something up on his own. I may even wait until Wednesday. I feel like this is a really positive email, not asking for anything, and not being mushy about my own feelings. I would definitely love feedback though, as I might be missing something. I also wanted a lighter way to end the email, and a light subject line, but I am struggling there...

"Hi,

Before I get back, wanted to say it’s been cool hanging out lately. Thank you for taking such good care of the house and pets, and for introducing me to Hollowmen...

I admire you for sharing your feelings around wanting to see how things go, trialling living together, etc., especially when you’re feeling conflicted. This takes courage.

I understand seeing where things go doesn’t equal guarantees. Neither of us wants what we had before. You have new interests, and that’s cool. I’ve learned that relationships are better when people pursue their own interests. You were strong enough to back away once; I know you’d do it again if things weren’t better, and I’d do the same, especially if I ever hurt you again.

I’m open to new experiences now, living and working anywhere, having biological kids, not having any kids, skydiving, running marathons etc., regardless of what happens between you and me. I say this so you know that you’re not the only one who’s changed as a result of this crisis. We’re both better people for it, and you gave me this opportunity to grow and become a more open person.

Thanks for reading; no response needed.
-ITH"