I was unfaithful

[Esky94]

In a good relationship, you feel close to someone else, you want to comfort them, they want to care for you, and you can. Mutually, everything fits together. You love each other, and there is room for each individual, and room for the kids, other family, friends. I can have sex with my wife, and look my mother in the eye the next day. It's right. Everything is right in the world.

Hi SPM,

I've had a good read of this thread, and I can't believe the bind you're in. That's really, really tough. I don't know what to say, so I'll just sit and carry you in my thoughts.

I really liked the contrast between a good relationship and an affair. Especially the bit about how everything just fits together, friends, family, job, everything. I don't have that now. It would be difficult to achieve now or with someone new if I end up getting a D.

Sometimes I get angry at my situation and want to go out with someone. But I know it wouldn't be a good thing. Angry sex is not good sex and I wouldn't be able to look my mom or my kids in the eye.