I still believe in miracles

[istherehope]

So,

Nothing new today. I am in the office for awhile as I am going to Paris tomorrow/Monday to do 11 interviews on an MBA campus...

Yesterday H said he'd call me this weekend, which made me a little nervous. I don't think an R talk is something that I want to have right now, and I assume that's why he wants to call. He knows I think they are inappropriate on IM. He also told me to buy myself something in Paris, which I think means he is feeling guilty.

I think I will just stay dark throughout the weekend and even Monday at this point, if he doesn't reach out. I will be on IM today as I'm at the office, but tomorrow will be traveling, and Monday busy from sunrise to sunset then traveling to Dublin where I presume I'll be staying a hotel. I'll get back to the office on Tuesday, so will be available then. Then, assuming nothing changes, I am going back to Dublin on Thursday. So, my question for everyone...if H does NOT reach out with anything R talkish by Tuesday, should I send an email in advance of simply showing up on Thursday? I've drafted one that is a little bit emotional, but that I think doesn't really ask for anything. I'd love to get opinions though. It is only to be sent in the absence of meaningful contact by H...

I start off saying I enjoyed our time, then go on to validate his feelings about marriage, as I'm not sure if I've done this before. Then I am thanking him for sharing his positive feelings, i.e. reinforcing the positives, and validating his concerns. The last paragraph is meant to highlight the fact that I have changed a lot as a result of this process, and that I am grateful to him for it. He didn't think I was open before, so am trying to highlight this, but not sure if it's a bit much.

Would love any thoughts on this. Could also be that if it doesn't get sent out in email, these could be things said during an R conversation, so I just want to know if they seem appropriate. Thanks!

"Hi,

Just wanted to say I’ve enjoyed our recent time together. Thank you for sharing your space.

I understand that you’re questioning a lot of things in life, including marriage and me. I don’t want to take your hard-earned changes away from you or tell you how to feel, or when to feel it. I appreciate things take time to work out.

I admire that you shared your feelings with me that you would like to see how things go, trial living together, etc. I will do my best to earn your trust and be equally open. You aren’t stringing me along; seeing where things go does not equal a guarantee from either side. We are taking well-informed risks. I understand your concerns about diving into this again. I also don’t want things to go back to the way they were. You were strong enough to back away once, so I know you would do it again if things weren’t better. You have new interests and friends, and I think that’s wonderful. One thing I’ve learned is that the best relationships are made of people who feel free to pursue their own interests.

I am open to anything now, living anywhere and doing anything, having kids, not having kids, etc., regardless of what happens between you and me. I say this so you know that you are not the only one who has changed as a result of this crisis. I think we are both better people for it. I really like the person who you are now, and you gave me this opportunity to grow. Thank you for that.

-ITH"