NikB #29 (keepin' up the piecing!)

[S.T. _I Made It!]

OT, sometimes it's not the words that need to be said. Actions speak louder than words. IMO, there actions together are better than they have been in years.

in my experience, for ME, my H and I have not really talked and talked about the sitch. I know that he wants me, and I want him, and I do trust him because of his actions. What point is it to go thru all the past when you know what you need to do for your future? That is what solution based is, knowing what you need to do to get where you are going.

Now, if she continues to have problems or issues, or if he does, then of course it may be good for them to have some kind of discussion. What about, I'm not sure. Maybe Nik is just needing some reassurance, and for her H to tell her he's sorry he hurt her, but sometimes, as a LBS, we can focus on that too much, and even though they say this, it does not sink in, and we keep asking for that reassurance. I did do that in the beginning, and I actually did try to discuss somethings, and once my H said to me, "how many times are we going to talk about this? can we just be done?" in a very frustrated voice. Then I realized, this was more about me, than about him. It was that insecurity that was creeping up on me again.

But, I am not Nik, and she is not me, so of course she needs to discover what she truly needs.

thanks for rephrasing your respond to my post in a "more productive manner".