No_Hill.... holy shnit hommey!... what a text-blast! I'm lost in the first bit.... yet your list I totally relate to... and this bit....
Quote:
My X did take us off the cliff but I ran us up to it then tried to pull back. I've been told with many ladies once they make that decision to leave the men are just dancing with a dead relationship. I do hope for many's sake that Michelle's tatics do work and change that but I feel it is a steep uphill battle. I believe even if the spouse's decision is made one must try them. How hard and how long you try is up to you, spouse, and your maker.
Particularly the part about when women are done with an R, they are done. I would agree that I do not see much probability of a turn-around using DB methods or whatever once the woman has made up her mind. No matter if her reasons are legit or contrived. My experience has convinced me that a when a woman is done, she is done... with very few exceptions.
I think you and I have dialogued in past about the likelihood of turnaround. Frankly, if you look at the message board thread counts.... there seem to be lots on the "trouble has started" newcomer boards..... a lull in those that are doing the doing.... then a whole schwack for us post-D'ers.
Frankly, I think it will take a lot to turn the tide of the D trend. We are in a culture of disposable relationships.... particularly marriages. Christians no exception. I have heard directly from many staunch Christians that they feel "he should leave her" or "she should leave him" who I cant imagine them saying that years ago.
Mind you, their stance years ago would have been a narrow-minded pat-answer about divorce being an abomination without any understanding of how hellish a bad marriage is and what it really takes to turn it around.
Praying together... ya.... I will say that the last positive thing my ex said directly to me was that she was happy when I prayed for our family every day (first few years of M). Man! for it to go from that to where it went though! Whew!
There are few predictors in life. That is why I mainly live a day at a time now.
