Ya... people around us. We owe them a lot. I too felt my kids were often what kept me looking forward and giving me a motivation to continue on and find a new life during and after D.
I agree with your comment about love for our kids versus love for a spouse. I loved my wife and I love my new wife. It is different though in how I love my kids. Maybe I am out of balance. I dont know. All I can say is that love of my kids has been a huge motivating force in my life.
Love of my kids, I believe, kept me from ending my life at the darkest of times. Sadly, I did not see enough value in my own life at the deepest darkest and most painful time during separation and divorce. The thought of my kids was all that kept me hanging on.
This is not the healthiest way to live. I believe firmly that in order to be truly happy, fulfilled, and healthy emotionally, we need to recognize that we as individuals are worthy of our place and role here on earth. We must realize that we are of value to ourselves independent of others. For me, it is essential to know that God loves me and values me as an individual.
With a belief and understanding of self-value, we can then go on to love and support others. If we don't, we are merely codependent. That is what I feel anyway.
With all that said, I am grateful that I loved my kids when I didnt love or value myself. It got me through that period where I did not love myself.... or see value.
