WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice

[thrillisgone]

Amy C- you replied some under my thread "MLC Stages, where are we?" back 7/13/08. The start of that thread gives a timeline through July of my sitch.

We are divorced now. I actually saw my W in late August the day the divorce was granted. I spoke with her the night before and she was out of it. So bad in fact that I was worried she was in real trouble. I asked her if she was O.K. and she replied "of course I'm not O.K." and she did it in a manner that had me comtemplating 911. She said she would call back in 10 minutes and never did. I called her and she would not answer. The next day she showed up at the house and I was shocked at how she looked. Skinny...like I've never seen her in 30 years. Kept her head down, wouldn't make eye contact, got out of the car and hugged me crying and then jumped back in the car staring straight ahead and shaking. She was wearing a pair of monogrammed sunglasses that belonged to the OM and a dress ring on her right hand that I gave her. Saw her the next day with the same ring on the same hand but not appropriate for what she was wearing. She pointed the ring out to me and said "you gave me this". We promptly got into a confrontation about the family dog and she left. I noticed that she appeared unkept. Straight hair, no makeup, her face had broken out and she has no upper body left. I mean down to the ribs. She drinks heavily at night but I'm not aware of any drug use besides her hormonal steroids and hormones.

The OM is 70 years old and it appears that she is moving out of state to be with him and is buying a house with the proceeds from the divorce. They work for the same company. Don't know how that'll work. What haunts me is the phrase my wife said a week before she left " I guess you won't be able to wait on me" When I asked her if she thought she'd ever find what we had, again. She replied "No". AND the OM is having some cash flow problems and is playing "the rich guy". Don't ask me how I know. My ExW is headed for the wall.....I think. Her credit rating is 100 points higher than the OMs and she is taking out loans for the both of them.

I am about as confused as confused gets. I'm also very angry at the betrayal,emotional and financial wreckage she left behind. To compound matters I've met a woman who I find attractive on a multitude of levels and the feelings are mutual. Very dangerous and confusing also.

I am a mess. I still love my ExW very deeply.

Somedays I think I know what I'm doing. Other days I don't know whether to sh*t or go blind.