re: "our domain". Well I guess that was a problem. I viewed the house as a joint effort. We had a big house and 4 energetic kids and I did my part. I scrubbed commodes and washed floors and washed dishes and changed diapers and ran the vacuum. I did laundry and washed windows. There was no housework task I did not do. She was the designer, the decorator, the director, and the chef (I did not cook). She said "let's re-arrange the furniture" and I did the lifting. I was the labor.
I always thought that was a good thing. So when I washed the floors I did not use a mop. You compared it to replacing the sparkplugs. I get your point, but I did not replace the mop. I did not insist on anything about the mop. I just didn't use it. It's not real. It's not a real issue.
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There was not a darn thing he could of done to stop me. I was finished and relieved that I had found something better. I believe I hated H. I believed he had never listened to a word i said when I was in pain or wanting more from marriage. I took his silence and buried head to think he was just doing his own thing and that in some way he was controlling my life.
Sounds like my wife's words, nearly verbatim. She was convinced I didn't love her, didn't care, knew about the affair and didn't even care to mention it. etc etc. She hated me. She turned off. She switched. BUT - here is a key difference. She never said she wanted more from our marriage. It was ME who said that in our marriage. I did. She put me off.
About the visitation - I proposed something like what you have described a long time ago. But W pre-empted it by claiming abuse. Of course it is not possible to consider if I am abusive. So that did not happen.
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I wonder if you can recall how your W was during her A.
How did she treat you and the kids ? What was her moods like?
She wept often. She was drunk often. Cranky - she'd snap at me for nothing. She was unreliable. Gone all the time. Forgetful. Distracted. She ignored the kids. Nothing got done at home.
She was also very cheeky. We drove to a wedding, and along the way there was a store, and she said she wanted to stop and buy a souvenir for her boyfriend (she didn't refer to him that way of course). I was like, "no, that seems like a dumb idea. why get him a souvenir?" She couldn't explain it. She was in love, although I didn't know it.
Re-telling this is making me pretty upset. I cannot believe I still want this woman.
