I guess it's over

[Trixi]

Trixi... long post warning, I'm dedicating my lunch hour to you. (OK well lunch 20 minutes which is about all I have time for lately!).

Thanks Nik- your posts mean a lot to me.

Now.. figure out what it is that gives you this "girl power" and find ways you can enhance it.

Maybe not the most positive thing in the world but for awhile there singing along at the top of my lungs to "To the Left" and "Next Time That He Cheats" were both very therapeutic and got me thinking "Damn right I'm worth more than this!"

What does it for you?

Hmmm...very good question. I am really going to have to think on that...Actually, there is a certain 'agressiveness' to the Nickelback "Silver Side Up" CD that gets me feeling pretty fiesty/angry. Especially "Never Again". (I was never abused, but still I can relate to the feeling of not taking any more crap.)

I will have to see what else I can think of that gives me "Girl Power". I love that.

I also found #3 interesting. Reading it by itself it sounds positive but it becomes a "cold hard truth" when the one you love isn't reciprocating... woah.

I think your "truths" are a little different, but thought I'd share my Dad's exercise in hopes it might help you too.

Yeah, I guess I could say that all these years, he H never came back. He came back just enough to keep me on the string. But, to coin a term from a best-seller- "He's just not that into me". That still feels a bit like a commentary on who *I* am- like I couldn't keep him because *I* lacked something..but hopefully, in time, I will be able to really see and feel that it was HIM that lacked something. Intellectually, I can say that; but emotionally, I haven't fully embraced the concept.

Have you checked into the legalities in your state?

I put in a call to an attorney I was referred to, but she hasn't called me back. I'm not interested in some knockdown drag out fight. I just want what is rightfully mine. I think he is of the same frame of mind. It's a community property/no-fault state, so it should be fairly easy to hash out the details since we don't have any underage children.

YOU did not fail in your R or M. Sad and disappointed I totally understand - but you have done everything you could and then some. Your H is missing out on a wonderful, kind, generous, dedicated, loyal, loving, (and I could go on!) woman.

I know this is so tremendously sad but I also know you can pick yourself up and move forward - and eventually have someone in your life who actually DESERVES you.

Thanks for that. I still cry, but not as often and not as hard.

Hi Ali- I'm still lurking on your sitch- I don't post as I don't feel I have anything to offer because I know what my current frame of mind is-- and my current frame of mind is that a guy will do ANYthing to be with the woman he truly loves. I mean, think about it; when you REALLY *want* to be with someone, you make the time. There's not a continuous stream of excuses "I'm jamming; I need to do 'stuff' around the house; I'm going to go and do __fill in blank with fun stuff w/friends__ and then I can come over." Whatever. That's all I was worth to him; to be squeezed into his busy schedule. I should have been at the top of the list with him scheduling AROUND time with me.

So, now I am waiting for the accountant to figure out our 2007 taxes because if we owe, we will pay out of the refund check that he just received for 2006. I will need to see him so he can give me my portion and I think we have to sign something for the accountant.
After that, I don't believe we will have any more need for contact; well, except for anything that has to do with D.

It will still sting when actual action is taken to move towards D, but I guess I need to see it like a necessary evil.

I could just leave it alone; I certainly appreciate having my health insurance covered... but I think I need to take control of my life. Can I do that and NOT file? I dunno.