Trying2live- the new post 1

[marisol35]

Hi Everyone!!

T2L - We want to know how Disney went!!! Hope to hear from you soon.

TxMom - You are definitely on track....we all have setbacks but it makes us stronger to learn from them and know what to do next time! You did good by the cake and gifts. It seems as though the fog cleared for that moment in time and the emotions took over.

JGrind - I am in Arizona....I don't know if we are an at fault state. The paralegal I spoke with said I can submit a request for reconciliation which will then postpone the D proceedings for about 2 months, they will schedule a meeting with a mediator, and then at that time if he still wants to D then the process picks up where it left off. But since I was not served properly according to the law here I have just sat on the paperwork for the past month because I don't have the $$ to pay the paralegal to compose those documents. I hope to get that done next month. The time it takes to serve is the amount of time the atty takes to draw and submit those docs in court. For AZ you must be served by a process server, certified mail, or be present in front of a notary and sign the acceptance documents that coincide with the decree.

Hope - How have you been doing? How's your D? I hope she is doing ok.

Well tonight I will be alone for the first time. My D16 is staying at her girlfriends house. I don't have any plans as of yet. A friend here at work said she wanted me to meet her boyfriend's roommate but I don't know if she will be setting that up tonight or not. I did tell her I was free. If it doesn't work out I thought I would go to the bookstore then go see the Fireproof movie.

Every day I have been praying for God to show me the path he wants me to follow. My heart belongs to my H. Lately I have been thinking about all of the good things. Especially how I long for him just to be with me. Then my mind shows me all the pain and I get this feeling that if I let him back in I will start to fall back financially whereas now I am finally starting to see the light in things and starting to plan fun vacations with my D. I know that if he were to come back I will start to worry about money when now I'm not. Does that make sense? I have always been the bread winner in the family. I don't want him to come back for that. I want him to come back for me. He is unbelievably broke right now. I know that the OW paid for his car and some of his house bills. I have been getting this feeling that the spark is going out between them. I know she won't be paying for his bills for much longer. He won't have anywhere else to turn to but me. I don't want to be that for him. I just feel like I'm on that rollercoaster everyone talks about. Its a tug of war.....