I'm here........

[SueS]

Hi everyone-

I'm sorry that I've taken such a long break off the BB. I've had some trouble accessing some sites from work and haven't gotten the internet hooked up at home yet.

I can't really remember where I left off. H is at home with me & D4. Things have been getting better. He's told me that it's over with OW. I'm not 100% sold on that so I'm being cautious, yet trying to work on things and be happy at the same time.

D4 and I have started going back to church. She loves Sunday school and I love the hour of peace sitting in the service by myself. H doesn't want to go with us just yet. He'll be going later in the month though, as D4 sings in church at the end of Oct.. He won't miss that. I've started pulling out some crafts that I used to do. It's been so many years since I've touched them. I'd kind of let go of everything that made me happy, so I've been looking for them again. I finally put up the last few pictures in my apartment.....after only 2 1/2 months. It actually looks liveable now!

Back to H & OW. I know that he's talked to her....or called her a few times. I told him that if it's going to work with us then there needs to be no contact with her. I told him that I didn't want the occassional call turning into the occassional visit and then building back up from there. He had an angry tone, but said that it wouldn't. He's not one that likes to be told what to do, but I didn't feel like I had a choice. I told him that I don't want to hide the feelings & thoughts anymore. I told him that I held my feelings and thoughts in for too long and it almost cost me my marriage. I'd like to hear from OW's H to see how things are on his side, but I don't want to call & disturb anything there. H has been pretty quiet the past week or so. Work has been slow for him, his dad is getting better, but he still worries about him.....and he had to send his brother $$$ to help cover his dad's prescriptions. Despite him being quiet, he's been more involved with us. As a surprise he bought us (me, D4 & my mom) tickets to go see Playhouse Disney Live on Sunday. He knows I love taking D4 to things like that.

Oh, back in late Spring, H bought tickets for a November 15th theater showing of "Wicked". I knew that the 15th was around OW's b-day. The same night I talked to him about the no contact, I asked him about those tickets. He told me that he would sell them. I know he hasn't yet, but he asked me the other day if I'd seen a box he used to keep in his dresser. It has the tickets in it and he needs to get them sold.

H's next court date for his DUI is next Thursday. I think that's the date that we'll find out what's what....if it gets dismissed or if it goes on his record. The Chemical Dependency counselor called ME yesterday. She wanted to follow up on OUR conversation regarding H's drinking. We didn't have a lot of time to talk the day we went to see her. She said that she still had some questions for me and wanted to clarify some things, as she felt that H hadn't been completely honest with her about the quantity he drinks when he does drink. After our conversation, she told me that she is not only recommending a level 2 class but also that he abstain from drinking for 6 months. In her words, "I want to see him dry out and see how life really can be without the use of alcohol". She claims that he will be required to follow her recommendation.

Joie....welcome back. I saw your post about you and your H. I'm sorry that he's drinking again. I know you said that it's not as bad as before, but it would be nice if he could have quit all together.

D4 is doing wonderful! She got her haircut short and she loves it. We call her the "sassy little thing" now! Grandma and Grandpa are coming today for a visit and will be here through Monday. She doesn't have school on Monday so they're going to watch her for us. They have grand plans for the weekend.....apple orchard, maybe a movie, crafts, buying a pumpkin....etc. I'm sure my mom will get some snuggle time in too! They just love spending time together. Makes my heart happy.

Work for me has been really, really busy. Even though our business is doing okay, they have gone into extreme cost cutting mode. No one is allowed any more overtime. I got used to having some on each check, so that will take a little getting used to. Despite the cost cutting, there is a work event tomorrow night. It should be fun. I've been helping with the set up and will have to work part of it tomorrow night. D4 will be with my parents all weekend, so it will be a good time for H and I to spend some time alone too.

Well, back to work. Just a few hours left of the week!

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll check out posts as soon as I can to stop by and say hi to everyone.

SueS