Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[Hope4us]

Thanks guys. I understand what's going on in her head, probably too well. But the difference between my W and WDID is, WDID was making an effort. My W won't even get rid of ONE PAIR OF FREAKIN UNDIES! She won't read a book. She won't spend two days with me at Retro.

Why? Because she is so stubborn that if she did any of that and found out the affair was not justified and she does have feelings for me she would have to admit that it was F'd up, and I truly believe she'd rather be divorced and put her kids through that mess than admit that maybe, just maybe, she was at fault. See, if she doesn't do anything to try to make the marriage work and we divorce she can hold on to the idea that "I've never loved H4U" and "I've been miserable for a long time". S16 said to me the other night, the day W had slapped him on the leg and was bit*hin at him, "she'll never change. She NEVER admits she's wrong about anything". If a 16 yr old can see that, why do I hang on?

I'll say this for anyone who is newer reading my threads. I know I contributed to the condition of the marriage that let this happen. I've been working for over a year to demonstrate the changes I've made/am making. I probably took my wife and kids for granted. Not on purpose, but climbing the corporate ladder to give them what I think they deserve, and getting too comfortable in the marriage so I lost sight of what was IMPORTANT. But if she's not willing to do ANYTHING to see if we can make it work, what's the point?