I hope some of the guys over here can give you some good ideas of how they would love their own wives to show sexual attention.
I still think (based on your story) that you have a lot of inner work to do, to figure out why you had an A. I think as you keep getting deeper into yourself, you will eventually discover "why".
I have been through the same (or at least similar), in that when I was married, I never wanted to have sex with my H but I did end up being unfaithful. Digging deeply into "why" I was open to OM's but not my husband was a long, sad process. I'm finally past all of that and with a new partner, and we have a stellar sex life.
So first of all I would keep encouraging you to stay in IC and discuss your sexuality a LOT until you really understand it yourself.
Second of all...one of the very important things I found out about myself is that I need some, um, not sure how to put it but...I need some rough play. I need to be slammed up against a wall and kissed passionately, on a regular basis. I need to be able to wrestle with my man, using all my strength, until finally he holds me down and just takes me. I need to occasionally be put in a submissive position in the bedroom...which I thoroughly enjoy.
Now...the above playing I am describing is something that takes a couple a lot of work, time, and understanding to achieve. I'm pretty sure you and your H are not quite ready for that type of play...but I would ask you: after reading that above paragraph, do the things I describe sound like some sexy fun stuff to you? Or does it sound like "nah, not my thing"?
Based on your answer, I can give you some suggestions.
