I know people have expressed their concerns over some of my recent postings and I appreciate everything! I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, especially those who have been betrayed. If so, I am very sorry and didn't intend that! Things are going better with me and my BH. We both know now, based on recent communications (that some of you were privy too) what we both can and cannot do in order to reconcile. It was very hard for me to put my foot down on a couple of (sexual) things he thought he needed in order to move forward with R, but I think he realized me not putting my foot down in the past is one reason I had the A. I couldn't put my foot down and tell this OM that I didn't want to do something. Anyway, my husband's language is sex -- he is a very sexual person. I've never been very sexual (except with OM which is another thing I'm trying to figure out.) So I need to do for my BH what came so easily for the OM -- not exactly, meaning if I did XYZ for OM, I'm not expected to do XYZ for my BH. But I do need to loosen up sexually with my H and I need to start initiating more. My question is, other than initiating full-on sex every day, what else can I do throughout the day or week to show him sexual desire, appreciation or validation? I don't want this to become a "I need to ML to him X times a day" or go to bed thinking, "Damn, I didn't initiate today but I am exhausted -- what should I do?" Any suggestions on becoming more sexual without having sex all the time? We both work full-time and have children so that just isn't realistic! Thank you! LL
