F-- That clearly shows how disfunctional the communication has been between the two of you. I don't know how I would have controlled myself in that sitch. What did the IC say to that revelation?
If nothing else, does it help give you a bit of closure on the M...? For all the terrible costs and heartache of the divorce, would you really want to stay connected with a person who thought that this was a good dynamic for partners? I cannot fathom keeping something so vital from another parent...
For my own sitch, I think I have come to the conclusion that, in spite of my deep desire to keep the M together, there have become such huge differences in maturity, communication skills and perceptions that I just don't think it is possible, anymore. Maybe someday he will catch up, learn what I have learned...maybe not. But being in such different places, and one not having the drive to do the work, makes the apartness inevitable.
