NikB #29 (keepin' up the piecing!)

[NikB]

GF, Jak, OT - hi! Thanks for visiting.

I am down to 2 jobs at work (from 3 that I was doing last week) so I actually have time to take a breath - whew! I am so glad for our nice anniversary because the rest of this week's been a mess! Still going good with H though.

OT - thank you for explaining more. I see what you mean, now. I should probably have clarified - yes we mostly ignore it right now, but I definitely don't feel like "bury it and pretend it never happened" works either.

I'm still at a point of figuring out what it will take to really heal, and what of that comes from me vs. what from H. Some things are obvious, like I need to feel like I can trust him. Obviously a big component of that is him being open/honest, etc. but some of that does come from me. He could be the most honest, trustworthy guy and I could still not trust him. I know there will be other things but that's the one that pops up the most in my head right now. And we're both moving that direction I think... probably the first step to getting to that stronger/more confident place you described.

That's a very good description of how to know if/when I need to do something - thank you! That's what I find myself wondering about a lot. When I bite my tongue sometimes is that because it's a good thing and I caught myself from saying something uncalled for, or is it because I'm swallowing feelings? Makes total sense that if I'm feeling resentment/martyr-like, that's when it needs to be addressed. (sometimes I'm proud of myself for biting my tongue when it's the right thing to do). Thanks again - I think I get it now.