Your anniversary sounds wonderful, truly. All sorts of loving things, all kinds of good signs, and lots of growth and more intimacy.
I don't really know what was up my butt when I wrote that last post, though I know what I was responding to in a rather very narrowly focused over-the-top way. It was this: "We mostly ignore the whole sitch the last 2 years..." and this: "And you know what, where you guys are at, you really don't need to talk talk about the last 2 years..."
So, let me rephrase in a more productive manner, lol...
Sometime, you really are going to have to get your needs met with respect to all the stuff that has happened or I think it will hurt you and your M down the road. But that doesn't mean that things aren't going in a great direction now. If you feel better waiting to address more of your needs with respect to healing until you feel stronger and more confident about the M, that probably makes good sense for you.
You'll know if/when you need to do something if you start feeling like you are martying yourself to keep your M stable or start feeling resentment from swallowing your feelings.
