Wow! I haven't kept up with your sitch Olive. I'm so sorry to read this. I can fully understand your feelings about this. I felt the same exact way. In fact, and I don't say this to make your situation any more difficult.... but I used to tell my husband I would NEVER agree to a 50/50 split because I believe kids need to have their own home (not two separate ones).
Fortunately my husband was willing to do the every other weekend thing. But I did tell him if he wasn't going to do that I would let him be the main home and I'd take them every other weekend. Quite honestly, I think that idea scared him more then anything. I remember during the divorce telling him I was going to move to Florida and leave him with the kids. Boy did that make him livid!!!
Truly, I don't think I could do that. My kids are my life. But I would put their welfare before my own.
Anyhow, hang in there. You'll have to figure how much you want to spend on this issue. I'm glad you have your parents around. {{{hugs}}}
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Heh, my STBX knows better than to threaten me with leaving our S's entirely in my hands -- she'd be worried I'd actually take her up on that -- and I would.
Blues, You are so cute!!! You are such an amazing dad.
LO, I hope you are doing okay today. Just hang in there. Whatever happens it WILL all work out. Truly it will... initial adjustments can be difficult, but things eventually do fall into place.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Not trying to create a problem, but legally each parent has the same rights as far as custody so 50/50 is the legal starting point. There is no legal assumption of one parent being more qualified or a "better" parent. The welfare of the kids is paramount in the eyes of the court and usually the decision they make is what the evaluator feels will be most healthy and stable for the kids. When parents are at odds about what that is or looks like, usually the courts will more or less not consider the parents opinion and rely mainly on outside opinions/evaluations. The final decision many times isn't what at least one of the parents think is best for the kids or how it "should be".
Line up outside support to back you and deposition them. Search and find all the state guidelines and know them and use them to the best advantage that you can.
Best of luck and wishes.
Signed, Dad who filed for divorce, kicked wife out of house, and has custody of our kids.
When it comes right down to it, I believe that we are actually fighting over one night a week - he wants an overnight, I want a visitation night. I have more than compromised on the schedule. He needs to get a clue before this gets crazy ugly and all of "his" dirt comes out. Personally, I think he's getting nervous. He's already asking his L when they will hear about my custody petition. Wait 'til he reads it...
In the meantime, ow is looking for apartments for stbx so that he can "look good" in the eyes of the court. Gotta love 'em..
ROOT - haven't heard from you in a while.. Thanks for popping in.
Hey OC!! Hope things are still ok with you
tal - you're always good for a hug
NC - I hear you! I would jump at the chance to have D5 full-time, forever!!!
Stillhope - thanks for the advice. It sounds like you have been through the ringer as well. I have researched my state's guidelines and have begun to put together my custody petition. I have a number of supporters who are ready and waiting for the chance to back me... We just have to wait and see, I guess..
mc - I always have a snarky comment for you. For some reason, you bring out that side of me
Well.. life is pretty much still sucking. Not much more to say other than that. The only change is that now I soooo want this D to be final. I can't wait to be free!!!!!
