Hey, Mrs. H! I have been wondering how you were doing!
I am so sorry about your house! I know this is a difficult thing for you to deal with. But, I promise you that you will get through this, too. When my exH and I separated, I had a GMC Envoy. It was a really nice vehicle w/ lots of luxuries. Last July, I had to let it go. I just could not afford the gas or the payments. The day they came and got it, I cried and cried. I so loved that vehicle. But, I had to come to terms w/ the fact that it was just a vehicle. I still had my kids and my health. When my time comes, I could not take the vehicle w/ me. And, yes, it was just a thing. And, as much as it meant to me, in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't that important.
Mrs. H., I know you love your house. And, I know how difficult letting go is. But, you're right. Home is what and where you make it. Don't think of it as letting go of something. Think of it as a new beginning...a fresh start. A chance to take a new place and make it YOUR'S!!! Man, what a GREAT opportunity. I truly envy you of that! I got my house (even though the ex has yet to sign the papers)....it needs more work than I could even begin to tell you...probably more work than I really want to know about. (And, definitely more than I can afford right now.)
Look for the positives....they are there....and focus on them.
I am so sorry for you having to sell your home. And I understand your hurt...
When H and I started out together we lived here on the farm with his folks. We moved many times over the next 10 years. His father passed away in 93' so we moved a trailer on the farm to be near MIL. We lived in it for 10 years. MIL eventually moved to town, we adopted H's niece, it was old and then too small. So we put up a manufactured home where H's family home was, again here on the farm. That was only 5 years ago. H's left in 07'.
My house isn't much. It's cheap. It's not fancy by no means. But I LOVE my home. I LOVE this farm. It's where we began. It's home. I don't want to live anywhere else.
We cannot afford to keep paying for this place and H's rent too. Eventually we are going to have to sell if H doesn't do something different. I hate that thought. And I try not to dwell on it. But it is something I have to be prepared for.
So Mrs. I understand, and I am sorry.
God Bless you and your family... TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
You will not hear negative things from me. This was/is your home and you have every right to feel the way you do. You have children and created lots of memories there. This is not easy for you or the kids.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I think it is an upsetting thing, but think of all the good that will come out of this too. You are going to move into a place that is only YOURS. YOU can do whatever it is YOU want. YOU can decorate it how YOU want to. It's going to be GREAT!
Mrs H I understand how you feel, my divorce is being finalized and I feel so all over the place and so ripped off on all that was lost and all the hard work gone down the drain...but you are doing the right thing...and would be wasting your breath and then they way their deceived mind think it would just give him justification and the see why I left that bxxxx
also dont worry this person is just coming to look at your house..the market it flooded and there is so much available out there it will be surprising if it doesnt take a long time to sell a house in these times...so you have time to get used to the idea
one thing that helps me is when my emotions are going all over the place I read the Bible..proverbs and psalms and if you want to go to proverbs 5 you will see that yes God does not like adultrey and you will know that God also hates divorce and it is not his will for families to be torn apart....I am just sugggesting this because your H is a hard one that really can suck u into his drama and control and if you can get your stablity from God and his word you will find some peace...those words will jump off the page at you when u are hurting....also psalms is good to read when u are hurting..
pray about your house....you know who knows what God will do..also try and use this pain that is being inflicted on you to become a better mrs h..you can do this becuase you are on the right side of Gods will and he will make a way
hey GAD, Mrs H already qualifies for sainthood, i would have filet'd and quartered that SOB months ago, used OW for seasoning after putting her thru a grinder....
mrs h i know you have just so many times have all you can take from JA and his smirky attitude...
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I've missed your posts so much ! I'm so sorry that you are sad about your house...I know how you feel, it's the dreams and expectations we had, dissolving into thin air...just like that. It's so unfair, yet there is nothing we can do about it.
One day, when you're ready you will look back on this and be in a happy better place, with new dreams and lots of happiness, I'm SURE !!!
Love you lots xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
