Can't they chill and let me be free?

[karen43]

Thanks H4H, stupid is pretty much how I feel too. I feel stupid for putting myself through this. I feel stupid for thinking that there could be a chance for us. Mainly I just feel stupid because in the end I still love him...don't know why, but I do and it makes me so sad because its obviously not reciprocated. Or not in the way I need it to be.

Yeah, well join the club. I'm right there with you. I think most of us are!!! Or just maybe intensely loyal, optimistic people that take our marriage vows seriously? Nah, you're right, I'm stupid! Karen

[Sugar and Spice]

Thanks H4H, stupid is pretty much how I feel too. I feel stupid for putting myself through this. I feel stupid for thinking that there could be a chance for us. Mainly I just feel stupid because in the end I still love him...don't know why, but I do and it makes me so sad because its obviously not reciprocated. Or not in the way I need it to be.

Yeah, well join the club. I'm right there with you. I think most of us are!!! Or just maybe intensely loyal, optimistic people that take our marriage vows seriously? Nah, you're right, I'm stupid! Karen

Nope Karen, you aren't stupid. I'm just frustrated, mostly at myself. I think I feel frustrated that we are still "here" but the stupid comes in because there is a part of me that "wants to believe" what he says. The logical part of me knows better, but there is still that desire to have the "happy ending", you know? The Hollywood ending where it all gets wrapped up in the last 20 minutes...
Truly none of us are "stupid", just like what you said, loyal people who took our vows seriously. Its just so hard to be the better person sometimes.

[GoingForward]

I hear ya, girlie.

Hang in there.

(((((((Corey)))))))

[lost_in_space]

(((Corey)))

If only everyone took their vows and commitments seriously we would all be living the Hollywood ending. Why can't my W be like you in that regard?????

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Lost))) I wish I knew.

I'm just not dealing with things very well right now and nothing I try and do seems to help me shake all of these feelings. I guess its all just starting to become too real...

[yenko69]

I'm just not dealing with things very well right now and nothing I try and do seems to help me shake all of these feelings. I guess its all just starting to become too real...

Hang in there Corey, love the name by the way. We are all here to support you. Through all the trials you have been through you can get through this. (((Corey)))

[Livin4ME]

((((Corey))) Everyone believes in fairy tales (happy endings). That's what kept me hanging on for so long. Even after everything, part of me still believes in it. And everyone needs that one person that is supposed to make it all better. Even the strong needs someone. The hardest part is not having that intimacy with someone.

[Sugar and Spice]

Hang in there Corey, love the name by the way. We are all here to support you. Through all the trials you have been through you can get through this. (((Corey)))

Thanks Yenko, I'm trying. I've just been really emotional the last couple of days and its starting to get to me. I may have really screwed up, but frankly I don't really care either. Since the birth of this child looms on the horizon, I need to get a settlement agreement in place with my LS. Technically I don't have to show H anything and let him get his copy in the mail, but because I am trying to do this the "right" way, I aked/told him about it tonight. I said that with a "good faith agreement" in place with the courts that if/when the troll files for CS, it would show that he is already paying x amount of $$ a month for his other kids, it would work in his favor. And he seemed agreeable to it. Then because I have had such a problem biting my tongue these last few days, I had to throw in that it would also be for my protection and he went freakin' ballistic. Why did I need to do that? Hasn't he put the $$ in the account like he said he would? He didn't have to buy me a battery but he did, etc... If all I cared about was the $$ and "ensuring" that I get what "I'm supposed to" then thats what I would get. So I said that I understand that, but if things change with her and he yelled, "I don't give a F*** about her!" and hung up on me. So being the glutton for punishment that I am, I called him back and he kept saying, "fine, get it ready, I'll sign it." Then he tells me, "you're paying for it." and hung up again. I didn't bother calling him back. At first I felt bad, then I got mad, then I had it explained to me that he probably felt like I was calling him a liar and it made him mad, but I would also think that he could understand my position. Just because he says something today, doesn't mean that in 3 months time that it will still hold true. If its in place, its not going to affect him if he should actually come home. It would probably be to his benefit. If he chooses to stay with her, then nothing changes. I understand being called a "liar" would make you upset, but its the truth. It really wasn't my intention, but I'm assuming thats how he took it. Anyway, he said at the time he would sign it and if he doesn't, I can still file it anyway. WTF? What does he expect?

[kat727]

Was tonight a night for arguments? Got into one with my ex. Still giving the money sob story and he paid a bill of mine late. He seems to think he will be able to catch up and stay caught up on what he owes me but I really don't see how. In the heat of the moment I said thanks for divorcing me it was probably the best thing you ever did for me. Why won't he just do what he wanted so badly and leave me alone??

kat

[GoingForward]

*Sigh* Seems you and I are currently going through the same kind of drama.

They EXPECT us to trust their word. They EXPECT us not to question them whatsoever. We are expected to believe they will never screw us over, and the moment we pause and start to show a little doubt, they immediately erupt. WE are causing such turmoil for THEM.

Umm....yeah.

Do what you have to do. I am right there with you doing the same.

(((((((Corey)))))))