I don't know Tostada. I don't know any more. How do you apportion blame between two fallible human beings? I was stronger and could hold out longer? I was a real jerk for many many years, but, here you only hear about what she's done to me.
We are both caught up in the can't stay don't want to leave mindset. I've got to go, I can't live without love and that's what I have right now. She's got to go, she can't stay with all the hurts of the past that she is unable to forgive and move past. I've got to go, I can't abide the other men. She's got to go, she can't feel any love through the pain.
It's going to hurt for a while and then it will fade and joy will return.
I feel like we were trains on parallel paths and wondering why there were no connections. I loved her and she loved me and the other didn't receive it. I hurt her and she hurt me and neither meant it.
I hope, oh I hope that I can teach my children what I've learned, how to grow up whole, what to look for in a spouse. I hope they can go through life without this kind of pain.
