I feel for you and understand that in spite of all the wrongs that your wife has done, you still love her. I do not think you can get that type of understanding outside of these circles.... However, and I need to say this (it is true in my case as well)the women that our Ws have become are not worth the effort....not right now. They made a decision to give up, to stop resisting to the temptation that is around all of us (because apparently there was something missing). Once you cross that line, it is extremely difficult to come back. Dan, you are a good man and did all you could to salvage this. Good things happen to good people....I am convinced of that. Hang in there buddy.
