DONT DO IT. I think that maybe in your situation it could be the final nail. Hmmmmm then again, she could feel the balance of scales tipping back.
As the one having the A I often ( with absolute dread ) think that if H went and had a fling that he would feel even. BUT I would die inside and I would have to know it was short term. Actually thinking about it, I would hate it.
My H also is looking really good at the moment and even the thought that he is out there is frightening. It is enough. Plant the seed perhaps but dont act on it.
Great idea with after shave. I know exactly what you mean. I can smell Hs after shave when hes called around and it lingers. Especially the favourite one.
I have had another insight as well which may help you a little.
H has been great since one of our major financial obligations lightened. He definitely was attentive at work yesterday and even made a pass at me. Which I ignored, as if I did not notice ( Good - Bad ? )
Now why I think he is a little responsive is because he is no longer worried about the financial side of things. Now he has never ever taken care of our finances. I did. He just had to go and work. I stayed home with kids until they were old enough for me to work, which I did a few hours a week which led me to become self-employed where i am today.
Since our split I passed a lot over to him and he being the worrier worried about everything. I am not a worrier as such and tend to deal with situations as they occur. so what i am suggesting is :
If your W thought of you as being controling in the past, it could be that in her new situation she is not confiding her real concerns to you about stuff in case that is seen as a weakness or passing back control. So while she is worried she cannot consider resuming the relationship. It maybe that as soon as she feels independent and is coping that she will be in a better position to look at you differently.
This fits with her feeling of being over shadowed in all parts of her life.
Did you always tell her she was lovely ? That you only had eyes for her? When she spoke no matter what you were doing -you answered her ?
When I was sitting at the dinner table with H and the OM and his W before A was discovered and actually for years before the A started, when I had something to say both men would stop and listen and answer, and they would not engage other conversation until mine ceased. Tremendous feeling of being wanted and desired for me.
