Mixed Signals or Just My Imagination ?

[native]

Signed separation papers today and had to put my dog Buck, a compainion of 10 yrs to sleep last night. ( Wasn't recovering from a cancer surgery).

I can't beleive I am still able to function today, but felt strangely calmer than I expected about signing papers.

Talked about 45 min. w/Wife before and after signing about our R. ( If there was ever an appropriate time, it was then, I guess).

Her biggest reason for signing was to be able to free up some money from her paycheck by getting me off of health, dental ins. etc. or so she says. She signed a lease for a house in our neigborhood so she can be close to D (but not too close to me).

She also is dead set on divorce at this moment, but that is 10 1/2 mos. away from being possible.

She cited incidents that occured within the first 2 of our 7 yrs. of marriage as being intolerable, where she remembers me as cruel and mean. She is going to give me a book wherein she discovered I had been verbally abusive to her, at my request.

My feeling is that while there was friction back then, and even since then, I would not identify myself as having been either of those two things.

But W is extraordinarily sensitive, not just to emotional things but changes in weather, diet, noise, stress etc. I used to liken her reactions to life to the story of the princess and the pea. But I would give anything to make her feel like a princess now.

Then she moves on to the killer issue.

Even though all the other things she cites as issues continue to change, and she can acknowledge major changes in me, it always comes down to this: She isn't attracted to me romantically.

CAN ANYBODY HELP ME HERE ?

As of two weeks ago, she decided she did not want to date me, and that reconcilliation is off the table. The only thing I can figure is she said I was smothering her ( I do want things to get to good quickly, and need more patience), and that her meds. were being adjusted.

But how to become attractive in her eyes again ?

Her love languages are gifts and physical affection ( cuddling etc) and she won't touch me except to hug me last night as we made the decision to put the dog to sleep.

I need all you women, and any guys who have heard the same thing and gotten throught this, to help me if you have any insight regarding becoming attractive to your mates again after they have said this.