Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[whatdidido]

Why not ask her why she was crying? I guess you are probably right....wait until SHE can say something to you on her own.......I'm not as patient verbally....I can't bite my tongue.

She could have said goodbye to the OM if she was contacting him. That could be the sadness. It always was mine. Then, I had to get over that before I could show happiness with H.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

H4U,

Your wife sounds like she is acting EXACTLY how my wife acted just DAYS before she "broke" and pleaded with me to take her back, all full of remorse.

I would recommend neither asking her "what's wrong?" nor blowing her off, but rather -- if she does that again -- simply HOLD her. Strongly, For about two minutes, and then break the embrace, kiss her strongly on the forehead, and go to bed or whatever.

Puppy

[Hope4us]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. I hope you are both right. Of course, I'm so detached right now, I can't tell you how I'll feel if she is figuring it out.

First thing this morning she was IM'ing me. And it was different. That went on for quite a while. I finally had to tell her I had to leave the office for a while. I just got back and 30 seconds later she's IM'ing me again.

So we'll see.....

[whatdidido]

She's reaching out. Make sure to grab her hands as she does.

[Yoyowife]

Whatdidido,

Do you have a current thread?

[whatdidido]

Not yet. I should start one.

[Yoyowife]

Didi,

With you being on the other side, I had a couple of things I'm interested in discussing with you, but don't want to hijack. I'll check back later.

Hugs, Yoyo

[fightingirish]

hope...

that's weird.. Maybe he she is breaking down finally. I hope so, and righ in time for disney... I will meet you in the outer world...

[Hope4us]

Hey everyone. Things at home are still pretty decent. W still excited about the trip and still engaging me more and more.

But....and there's always a but.....How do you deal with the triggers when your W has not made a commitment to the marriage so she helps you through them?

W told me last night she was going to go shopping Sat because she needs a couple new bra's. Totally legit, she only has one that fits now. But her going shopping was always one of the excuses she used to go see OM when he was in town so it's a huge trigger for me.

So how do you get through them?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

That's a tough one, H4U. I think maybe you tell yourself that she IS being transparent with you, telling you where she's going, and for what?

Puppy