I pray that he will wake up and see what is hanging in the balance...
He is a good man but for reasons I cannot fully comprehend (based on his early years growing up, which I was not around for), he is a wounded and weak man no matter how confident he tries to act. He sees himself as a failure in our marriage and he knows he blames me for his failings. Letting go of the blame and resentment would mean letting go of the blanket he has wrapped himself in for years. That is not easy for anyone. But it is something he has to do to be healthy and happy in this life, with or without me. But preferably with me...
H left a message on the machine while I was at class. "Hello....It's Dad! And Husband....give me a call when you get a chance so I can tell you good night."
For some stupid reason my heart skipped a beat when he said, "And husband." It is just nice to hear him call himself that...
I called him at 9:30 and D2 was awake but not S6. D told him goodnight and kissed the phone a bunch. I talked to H for 5 minutes, it was 10:30 in Calgary and he was just leaving for dinner? Meeting his friend Barry whom he has known for 8 years. I did not mention the letter and neither did he. I was just upbeat and positive.
OK it is midnight I have to run my miles yet tonight. Only doing 2 b/c I am too tired to do 4. Lazy me..
