Hey, Nut, bizarre, and Kerry. Yes, I'm doing better today than yesterday. I think it is a process.
I also had a GREAT call w/ Jody today and we went through some role plays in which she taught me how to end the calls w/ XW and move forward. I was trying to make things work w/ us and now that it's over, I needed to talk w/ Jody about how to act now. She's excellent and she gave me some great advice.
So, I'm better. XW did send a text today that was a bit rude in my book. She said, "the court documents stated you have to pay me my child support on the 1st of every month. Will you be bringing a check to me at the DMV?" (we have to sign over titles to the cars). A bit forward, eh? But I'm required to by law.
I asked for and got to the 15th b/c I don't have it right now, so there wouldn't be any good in writing a check, would there? So, I'll definitely NEVER look to skip this payment as I'd rather not pay the banks than to not pay to support my D. I know I can't control how or where she spends the money I send her, but I won't be a dead beat dad under any circumstance.
W then got on the phone w/ me when I was talking to D and did the "nice" thing and I just played along for a while. I didn't say much and mostly listened and let her talk. She loves to feel right. We discussed things about D, so it was appropriate. It ended and I'm fine w/it.
She did just now send me a text asking for me to bring her golf clubs to her on Saturday, which does miff me a little bit. I'm guessing her new BF must be a golfer and she never wanted to play w/ me. Also, she accused me of "golfing all the time" (Oh, I only wish it were true as I played roughly 10-12 rounds A YEAR!), so now it is ok to be w/ someone who likes to golf? Go figure.
Anyway, I'm still plugging along and my next task once my new budget is established is to figure out how in the world I'm going to find $9700 to finish off my legal bills. I guess he'll just have to wait in line w/ the rest of my creditors, eh? It's not like he gave me anything massive for my now close to $40K now did he?
Anyway, I'm signing off here and looking to catch up w/ everyone else before turning in for the night.
Talk to you soon and yes, I'm finding my strength again. I learned today how to handle the difficulties of my XW and the key is to be brief, don't engage her in talks and be consistent. I've written down the message and I'll carry it w/ me at all times until I have it memorized to use when she calls.
