She found out I had arranged a house sitter to take care of her dogs while the boy and I are out of town and was furious. "Why didn't you ask me?" "Why can't I do it?"
"You aren't there, so I made other arrangements"
She was mad the rest of the dinner, which made me mad also. I had to bite my tongue a few times so I didn't backslide, but I know I was not the greatest company in the world.
Basically she wants to stay in the house while I am out of town.
The truth is I don't want her in this house at all. She owns half of it, but the moment she had her affair she gave up her right to live here in my mind. I wanted to tell her that, but I didn't. I also don't want the thought of her bringing OM into my bed while I am away.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
I'm actually kinda happy that she came tonight, because it reminded me of two very important things:
1) She is not the woman I married. She isn't. I don't know who this impostor is, but I genuinely am beginning to despise her. I do not use that word lightly, but it is accurate.
2) I would have been miserable at the fair with her. If I can't make it thru a 30 minute dinner without wanting to get up an leave, how could I spend 8 hours at the fair with her?
There is the (slight) possibility that within one week she could be diagnosed with cancer (biopsy results tomorrow), jobless (layoff scheduled for next week) and living with her parents. I brought this fact up to her and added in the divorce and the only response was a shoulder shrug.
I wanted to ask her if any of this would slow her roll towards D, but I knew the answer...NOTHING would force her from this path.
I am done with her. Now I just need to pretend that I can stand the sight of her until the D is final.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
