I feel that i am learning a lot from Retro and from this board. Last winter/spring, I would have written H a 6 page letter listing all I have done to help him, what he has done to hurt me, what he needs to do to change, etc. Nobody wants to get beat up, especially over 6 pages!
This time, I am still very upset/emotional about our situation. But I kept it to 4 pages (trust me this won't seem all that long to H he is used to it. Even my retro dialogue answers are usually 2 notebook pages!). And I told him how I felt about things, I told him my side of the story, more than telling him what he was doing wrong.
I am not used to being in this position. I have a hard time distinguishing between being assertive and being a demanding b!tch. It is because I am the "helper" or "Golden Retriever" or "pleaser" on personality tests. I am always worried about other people's happiness. I have waffled this afternoon on whether I should have sent H the letter, or if he will perceive it as an attack, etc.
But I just re-read it, and I don't think it was an attack at all. If anything, it was me waving a flag to signal to H that things are not hunky dory for me, and I need some things from him to help change that...
OK as you can tell I am inwardly questioning myself again.
Anyway, sent the letter around 3:45 but I don't expect a reply of any kind. We'll see what happens.....
