I've been posting over in the MLC forum for almost a year and half. My H moved out almost 20 months ago telling me that he was empty inside and he had nothing left to give. He wanted very little to do with me for the 6 months or so and for the next 8 months there were many touch and goes. In August 2007, my H had filed for a D but never had me served. Around April of this year, My H and I started C together after I told him he either go to C or proceed with the D. Fast forward to now, the D was dismissed due to lack of service. We have continued with C and we are spending more time together. My H thinks I am finally starting to "get it" and we are actually starting to talk about living together again. Our C has suggested that we both make a list of what we will expect from each other when we start living together again. Now I know each situation is unique but I was thinking that maybe people in this forum might have some suggestions since you are piecing and would probably know what reasonable expectations would be. I am so used to not having expectations I am having difficulty figuring out where to start. About the only things I can come up with is that he respects my feelings, makes an effort to spend time with me several times a week and he helps contribute to household expenses and chores. I would also like him to drink less and control his spending but I am afraid that he will no longer think I am "getting it".
I can guess that some of my H's expectations would be for me not to mother him, accept him for who he is, don't guilt him into doing what I want him to do, don't object to him having his "guy time" when he needs it.
